From Above

Yet another text dated 2002, much better than the last.

I have been this way,
Since that longful day,
Where alone ‘till then,
I’ve lived again.

Her face smooth as silk,
Her eyes bright as pearls,
She seemed like a goddess,
Who came down to judge.

To me she came with all her beauty,
By heaven above may she show mercy!
What a splendid sight has come to me,
Will I now learn to be free?

Or is being free what I now see,
It seems to me like it must be,
The soul that meets mine,
A perfect set.

To my surprise,
Looks don’t despise,
And her voice was to,
Of sweet melody.

If this is love,
Then take me in!
I want to feel this way forever!
You’re my goddess,
Make me your slave,
Everything in you is perfect,
Including thy name,
8 linked letters,
Started thy beauty.

Whom I now wish all night,
Despite the distance,
You feel near,
Despite the difference,
I will not fear.

If this is love,
Then fill me deep,
And do not let go,
For I need you so.

And when I see you again
The wolf will meet the saint,
We shall become one,
In the grasp of a memory.

Searching

I was browsing my pc and found this text I wrote back in 2002. I know the language is pretty comun but at least you can all see how crappy I used to write! cheers to all.

Time goes by in such a hurry, without a change in sight. Monotonous. Same people, same views, same mentalities, same stupidity… Breaking free for most is easy, but for me it’s a complete struggle. Romeo and Juliet, what a strange sight, for Romeo says that parting is such sweet sorrow, whilst to me parting means never look back, a new life, a new chance to show my worth, to be admired. There is just one difference: Romeo had someone to drag him close while I must seek other seas, in search of a fish in thy immense variety, and then, when that fish comes, the bait must be right, and my net must be strong, so she may hold. Here I am nothing, there I must go, in search of what I’m looking for. Love is found in every corner, but is it pure? I think not … Love apart from talent, ambition against pure caring. The world is wide, Copernican once said, but will it hold when the distance widens?

Five Leaf Clover

Mamma always told me that the best things in life are free. Quite honestly, I don’t think that anything is free anymore, no matter the circumstance. I just got back from a three day camping trip in the middle of nowhere. I slept in a tent, while having my back battered by rocks, I had some of my buds around, I had fresh air, booze and complete silence, which made me more stressed out than ever. Even our meter long food bill seemed ironically miniscule when compared to the hunger in our souls. Even though no one spoke of it, we all had made a silent pact, a promise to ourselves that we were there to break free from the manic garden of delight that is living a dream while being awake. We were the most recent contenders of survivor à la Madeira. Our goal: live life to the edge. Well, maybe that wasn’t their objective, but it sure was mine. I’ve given up on so much since high school. Drama class opened my eyes to something new, to characters, to different lives, to a new me, far from the one I had learnt to admire and disgrace. I have learnt that life is too short for hours of work books and despicable theories created by the serendipity of sexless French assholes wanting to be remembered. I wanted to make the most of those three days. I wanted to meditate and find my tranquil garden. I thought that by being a daredevil I would be leaving the sin of caring behind by placing my most recently found virtue in its place – risk. I hardly ate, I drank like there was no tomorrow and I swam in near freezing water, inches from hypothermia. What for? For liberation. For freedom. For life without love! I have found a cure for everything. From memory loss to heartburn to sexual urge to insomnia. All but one. Feelings. I have no antidote for that. No snake venom is stronger than love. Nothing is quite as addictive. Nothing is quite as sweet. Nothing is quite as sour. No matter how cured I want to be or how much I fool myself into thinking I am, it’s going to take me a while to forget the girl from my dreams. Not the girl of my dreams but the girl IN my dreams. My script is almost complete. I’ve still to pick a title, a location and a purpose. The cast is half full, all but the lead star. The muse. The faceless stranger. The angel of my nightmares. The uptown girl with the girl next door smile. I guess I’m not in a hurry. I know that I’m just a fool with an imagination. I’m all but a miracle worker. No one is but God. He created me, blessed me and damned me. He knows best. I will never understand why.

Frame Killer

I left school, tried to be a Director
I wanted to go out, be an infector
The short-length movies that I once made
With the camcorder that my dad had paid

I shot anything that I could see
Almost got a fit when they captured me
The thrills and spills of the blind
Unedited hours in my mind

Parties on Hollywood Boulevard
I finally have a Rover in the yard
Friends have come, or so I thought
Girls wanna have me, my souls been bought

I’m the film star, I’m the Director
I’m the writer, I’m Hannibal Lecter
I’m the poet, I’m the fool
I’m the dreamer, who the hell made up this rule?

I don’t drink ‘cause it’s like a whore
I don’t smoke ‘cause it’s all a bore
I don’t take dope ‘cause I ain’t the star
Even if I tried I wouldn’t get too far

Gotta make it, gonna be needed
Gonna be the hero, be top ten seeded
Fuck society’s hypocrisy
You’ll never get the best of me!

Safe Passage

Dead end. I can hardly believe it. A month long walk has come to an unfortunate conclusion. Despite the path’s bumpiness and uncertainty I had managed to surpass all my hardship. Until now. A solid wall of brick and steel rises ahead of me now, staring down at this pitiful communication scholar. Engineering has always enjoyed the honour of being overrated. Once again that preconception has been proven right. Boat trips in the Ocean, beverage under the moonlight and bittersweet rimes were just too great a temptation. If I were Adam then I have betrayed mankind from the very beginning. She’s Eve, Juliet, Cleopatra, Guinevere, Sleeping Beauty and Helen of Troy all wrapped into an average height, average beauty girl. In fact, she’s like the girl next door. At least that’s what she seemed to be at first glance, at first touch and at first smile. Emerald eyes mesmerized me. I succumbed to her grace. The kiss of all but mutual true love enslaved the soul of Phil, the mortal. This would sound like brilliance if I were writing in platonic 16th century. But I’m not. In the early 21st love is like drinking cold coffee or hot beer while wearing a fur coat in the Kalahari – extreme. A blazing 33ºC sun is burning my neck as I write my most recent confession. Everything is nothing. Hot is cold, sweet is sour but love is still love. Her face is the desktop in my mind and my screensaver is 30 days worth of poetry in motion. Rebooting only lasts about a minute before it loads yet again. Formatting is password protected. My instant messenger doesn’t light up to her smileys anymore. She is gone. Not for good but gone. In a week she heads back to the city of the Tagus where a careless boffin awaits her with open arms. On that day my system will hibernate indefinitely. In time we will meet again. Until then I will treat my wounds with patience and caring. If I will be there when she realizes what I was worth, no one knows, but of one thing I’m sure – we were at the right place at the right time but in the wrong relationship. Go in peace my favourite mistake. God speed and may life be fair. At least to you.

Goofball

Hi, I think we’ve met
Right about now the clock is set
Tired minds and hopeless fate
Found that out on our very first date

I had my tie, poker dot red
Nothing but a jackass, your friend had said
My drumsticks roof up on Crash
Air Guitar played by a guy named Slash

But our sound is there
My heart is bare
Can’t you see it girl

In the skate park bumping on the half pipe
On the camping trip walking on the wrong side
In gym class staring at your hot pants
I was a goofball drooling over you, you, you

Graduation right down the highway
Prom night don’t think that I should stay
Homecoming queen, you’re dating the damn football star
If I could I’d hit him with his own fly car

But our sound is there
I’m getting desperate girl
You’re so hot you make me hurl

In band camp playing that dorky song
On the football pitch wondering what I did wrong
On my bed thinking of that lonely queen
I was a goofball drooling over you, you, you

Yeah, drooling over you, you, you
Drooling over you, you, you
All the times I felt so blue
Somehow it came down to you.