Saturday, July 09, 2005

MALE VALUES - PART 4

I really don’t fancy love. I used to, but I kind of gave the whole caring thing a break. The reason I dislike it so much is because it’s the only feeling that alcohol doesn’t make us temporarily forget. I’ve had beer, whiskey, shots, even methanol by accident, in fact I’m drunk right now and still I can’t forget her. She’s not the Dancing Queen I’ve mentioned in my last 3 posts, nor one of those foxes. She’s not even the tiger. Unfortunately she’s the gal with the boyfriend. Everyone I know says she doesn’t deserve me. She’s either too dumb, too clumsy or too weird. She’s never either too beautiful, too charismatic or too smart. I’m starting to think people are just trying to comfort me!
Every time I get rejected I think about 3 of my friends. They have everything a girl may want and even so they’ve been dry for some time now. I’m referring to the Stormer, the Junkie who’s into Nitro and the guy who says he’s “hot”. Love is so lame that no matter how beautiful any other girl is and how hard she’s hitting on you, you’ll never give her any credit, all because you’re stuck on someone else. Freaking Hell! Since I’ve been in Coimbra, I could have been with at least 5 fascinating women and I’ve neglected them, all because of her. An impossible creature with a supposedly jackass boyfriend. I guess the only remedy for this madness is meeting another South African. Members from the same species usually get along. I met one the other day. She seems nice, but her boyfriend is almost as tall as the Sears Tower which leaves little room for my one storey tin house.
Everyone loves the movies. I don’t know if it’s the hot actresses, the groovy special effects or the cinematic approach, but we all try to be what we see on screen. I remember when boys wanted to be Karate Kids and girls wanted to be hookers like Julia Roberts, those were the days. All the money our moms gave us for tuck went into playing hide and go seek with our neighbours and riding the pony with our cousins. A friend of mine still remembers the day he presumably had intercourse. For the record he was 5 and she was 4. Today at age 18 he still brags about it. Bru, that doesn’t count! Not even in Michael Jackson standards! My life achievement would be to win an Oscar. Not the guy Oscar, the Academy Award. What about that? Me winning an Academy Award. Half the guys who win one don’t deserve it so what’s wrong with giving another nutbag a statue? I can’t act, my writing is worse than crap, I’d probably suck at producing and directing and above all I’d be too naturally ugly to play Frankenstein and too white to play Nelson Mandela. The guys who admitted me at UCLA must have been drunker than me when they decided to call me in. Either way I must have been the drunkest not to accept. I apologize for part 4. I know it’s not close to being as good as the others and that it’s too sentimental. I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to decide if I should publish further or call it a day. It’s been a pleasure.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why the fuck not ... post all u got in that head of yours ... I am sure I am not alone when I say this ... We enjoy reading it.

Dude, live your life ... forget the chick, and get yourself some honey ... all this fixation for one girl is taking u away from endless nights of hot sex!!!

Wake up and smell the coffee!!! Get u balls in gear ... and screw the other bitch!

Sunshine said...

Isn´t life just a bitch when she dangles carrots in front of your nose and all you want is the apple? Because you know that no carrot is going to satisfy that thirst for the apple...
That´s life... a real bitch when she wants to be, then you realise that the only person that makes it difficult on you.. is you. Why? Because second best won´t do and the reason you can´t let go is because you know that only the best will do... because the goals in life that give us the most pleasure are those that are hardest to attain.
Game isn´t over, what might be out of reach today might be in your hands tomorrow. Live and let live... this means don´t try substitute it for imitations or full your stomach by eating carrots. Time will either quench your thirst or put the apple in your hand.
PS. I happen to think the guys at the university knew exactly what they were doing, you´ve got talent... keep using it to your advantage.

Anonymous said...

hi there.. hey, u're blog is excelent, i've never read nothing like this .. keep on ;)
**** nikas

Fábio Ribeiro said...

u r right.this is not as good as the other ones, but still prime stuff. yeah, love sucks (so do chicks). keep it up and let's see what awaits us on the next chapter...