I just woke up this morning with a heavy need to burst into tears. For no apparent reason, I feel lonelier than I have in quite a long time. Nothing’s really going wrong with my life at the moment, though. The job’s streaming in some decent income; I’ve been entangled with one of the most kind-hearted girls I’ve ever met, and life doesn’t seem to be half as bad as the bill made it out to be. Despite my presumably sane state of mind, I feel empty.
Maybe it’s to do with loving someone immensely, but being away from her for the good part of six months. It might also be the fact that my professional future is still undetermined, or maybe the fact that I’m just me.
Nevertheless, I feel really hateful today. I’d comfortably beat someone unconscious or talk them out of their own stupidity. I’d also jump off a building or push the trigger of any firearm in my direction. But I lack the guts to take the final step, the killing blow. For some reason, I still believe in living and the torture and heartbreak it brings. For some reason I still hope everything will turn out just fine, that love will endure and that that money will suffice.
I believe in you, the happiness you bring me, and I’ll try to forget the times you carelessly break my heart. I’ll do all this because I believe in something more, I believe in insanity, at least until I man up and dive to death.
Maybe it’s to do with loving someone immensely, but being away from her for the good part of six months. It might also be the fact that my professional future is still undetermined, or maybe the fact that I’m just me.
Nevertheless, I feel really hateful today. I’d comfortably beat someone unconscious or talk them out of their own stupidity. I’d also jump off a building or push the trigger of any firearm in my direction. But I lack the guts to take the final step, the killing blow. For some reason, I still believe in living and the torture and heartbreak it brings. For some reason I still hope everything will turn out just fine, that love will endure and that that money will suffice.
I believe in you, the happiness you bring me, and I’ll try to forget the times you carelessly break my heart. I’ll do all this because I believe in something more, I believe in insanity, at least until I man up and dive to death.
