Tuesday, December 13, 2005

MALE VALUES - PART 7

Hi. Long time no see. It has been too long. I can't remember the last time I wrote a Male Values chapter. Stats say this is the seventh posting. I didn't plan to write six and then leave the other four months apart. Shit happens! Sometimes you have to invest in a girl or should I say get your heart shattered, stomped, battered, recycled and then thrown back at you in the crappy material second hand paper is made of. I give up. Hell who wouldn't?! Women won't give you a break. I mean they are bloody sinister masterminds! Instead of having their PMS all at the same time, they "strangely" insist on having this bitchy attitude in a straight succession, which means men feel like shooting the whole damn race, all month long! The ultimate and most drastic case of PMS rage is marriage. It starts at a week and ends in a life long hell. Side effects are swollen prostate, single beds and masturbation.
Women are divided into three groups: women, bitches and selective bitches. Women include moms, sisters, grans, one or two unfuckable cousins and that's about it. Bitches are the best. They're easy to find, all you have to do is ride around town after eleven, pick them out of a catalogue, have great sex (and a decent blowjob!), pay and you won't have to see them again. Selective bitches are the ones you have to avoid. Not trying to get all Gaytrix on you but "they're all around us". The blonde in your geometry class. Her friends. The librarian. The social security lady. The bank clerk. In fact, 99,9% of females that aren't bitches are selective bitches! Why should they be extinct? Because they don't like decent guys like us! They like men who are rich, have a fly ride and above all treat them like shit. If you look like a travesti, smoke weed, drink, get butt banged twice a day and beat them up harder than the Undertaker wacking Shawn Michaels, you are her man. If you're like me, an obvious dude, you have no shot. Just do what I do. Stick to whores. Selective bitches have t-shirts saying:"boys, coffee and chocolate are best rich"(you are my fave slut S, but I still love you!) or "I swallow". Sure beats lie detectores...
I am an extremely hated person. The main reason I write Male Values is because I'm miserable and lonely. Portugal was supposed to have been my toilet, but it's turning out the other way round. I'm not looking for sympathy. Maybe I put it on myself by being too nice. Now I'm lonely, sad, desperate and sexless. No one laughs at my jokes anymore, even though they're better than most. I'm discriminated for being an outsider. I hope things will change. Either that or I'll try moving to Mars where there are no people around. Maybe then I'll be safe. I've heard that martian threesomes are the bomb!

No comments: