In the Land of the Doves

Hitting rock bottom never felt so smooth
Being alone never felt so sweet
Screwing seems so far in time it's pathetic
Loving you so makes me just forget it

Lashing my mind when I should be resting
Pictures of you make me wish you were mine
I guess that soon my heart will stop beating
Want me no more, your eyes were the sign

Upgrade each time my mentor kept saying
In the land of the doves you are so portraying
A silver bullet strikes through my heart
Your lovely face tells me when to part

Beauty and lust both combined
Awake afrodite from the world of the blind
The zephyr of hope runs through my hair
Through the Land of the Doves I will one day dare.

Am I retarded?

Why is it that everytime I start getting interested in a girl, she either ignores me, gives me the finger, or worst of all has a boyfriend? These are some of the questions I constantly have running through my head. I keep asking myself, what don't I have? I decided to add this remark to my blog, hoping that someone out there might help me out! I know you think I'm being in some way well over melodramatic, the truth is I might as well be. Ok, it's true that now and again I get the odd smile, the odd touch, even the odd glance, and believe you me, some of those glances are anything but innocent, but even so I can't get to the other level... I sometimes feel like I'm... well... hated! Ok, now I'm way over my heels! I think I can better defend myself if I actually do some of my ratings. From what I've learnt, most women (actually all of them) are look oriented, believe it, they can be even shallower then us men, if that could be possible! I'm not a die-hard good looking guy, I can't make a girl fall to my feet with a million dollar smile, the best I can do is make her pleed for me to stop smiling! I can't be picked out of a crowd, but on the other hand, I think I'm ... fair, that's the in between of mega ugly and prince charming good looking, if you want it in an educational manner, I'd rate myself C+, just scraping the B mark. Impressive you might say, but believe me looks won't win you any prizes in this game, they might earn you a second look, but you need flair! You must be thinking: "Hold on, why should I take any advice from this dude, a moment ago he was moaning in self pity!" trust me, I know where I've gone wrong! Secondly and most importantly, you have to have a vibrant personality, be funny but don't become the clown, if she'd want that she'd go to a circus. Try not to be clumsy, I try not to, I take pills for that now, and I'm starting to see the results... 4 years later. I'm confident, not enough, but more then I need, I stammer a lot when I'm nervous, which leads to my bad portuguese accent getting even worse then it originally is, and most importantly, I have the most adorable english accent in the world, let's say it's a Hugh Grant meets Arnold Vosloo meets Jim Carey type of thing, did I miss you back there? Now down to the real deal, cutting the chit chat, the rit rat, the hokis pokis... none of this is actually important unless... and pay attention now... she loves you and you love her. I know I've blurred your thoughts, I've had mine blurred from the beginning of this term so I know what it feels like. I wrote all this crap, just to say that no matter how low you feel, felt and surely are going to feel, there is always a brighter day. No matter how heart broken you are, you still have tears for more, such is life, c'est la vie, shit happens, name it, it's heading your way. What really counts in the end, is how you face every single trap life sets before you, every single deceipt. If you love the girl... just be honest, it's not supposed to be easy, if it were easy I'd be going home to Angelina Jolie tonight... it's possible but not likely. If she has a boyfriend, give it time, don't start assembling voodoo dolls, I've tried it, it doesn't help, just give it time, she'll get fed up of him, and that's when you try your luck. I'm in this situation, I've been waiting for some time now, I'm tired, impatient and frustrated, but I'll wait, she's worth it.